Breaking Radio Silence

I don’t even know why I’m saying this in an interview situation, but I always feel like I’m not good enough for some reason. I wish that wasn’t the case, but left to my own devices, that voice starts speaking up.

Trent Reznor

Walski can truly identify with what Trent told the New York Times back in 2008. It’s these constant feelings of inadequacy, of not being good enough (for anything), and constantly wondering if the world would have been a better place if he’d never existed.

Is Walski feeling suicidal? No, he’s too chickenshit to think along those lines (see? more inadequacies). No big loss if he were, but no such luck. Sorry.

So what’s up with Walski? Couldn’t tell you even if he wanted to. It’s just that it feels like everything he touches these days seem to go to pot. Even when he “accomplishes” something, it just feels like what he did just wasn’t good enough.

If you think it sounds utterly depressing being Walski, you’re probably right.

Sure, he can act as if everything’s hunky dory A-OK. Sometimes quite well. But not well enough to win an Oscar any time soon (more creeping inadequacy… just par for the course).

But it is what it is.

Walski just wanted to pen these thoughts for a couple of reasons. One, it so happens that he’s not written anything here since May! Gosh… one whole quarter of not writing anything for this blog. Time flies when you’re running in circles, ya know?

Second, he just wanted to get this shitty feeling off his chest.

Well, a lot has happened around Walski since May.

For one, Najib Razak finaly got put away. But that mofo is still behaving like the fucking world owes him a comfortable living. Ironically, being an MP with one of the absolute WORST attendance records in Parliament, just days ago he sought approval from the Prisons Department to be able to attend sessions in Parliament. And to visit his constituents in Pekan every now and again.

That idiotic request was, quite fortunately, DENIED. Seriously, what a thick-skinned shameless asswipe mofo of a human being…

But you know what? Walski could sure use some of that same hyper-confidence shown by the erstwhile Crime Prime Minister. Exactly how does one cultivate that sort of can’t-do-any-wrong persona? Quinoa on steroids? What?

Who knows… and frankly, who cares? Walski thinks he is the way he is for a reason. Hopefully a good reason, whatever that might be.

That’s all Walski really wanted to say today. But he’ll add one thing: this post has been somewhat cathartic. Just getting stuff off his chest. Definitely cheaper than therapy, that’s for sure.

Ah, well… guess he’s stuck being the inadequate human being that nature intended him to be. Walski will certainly try to make the best of that inadequacy. Not that he has any other recourse.

Until next time…

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