Category: Humor

2025: American Exceptionalism Redefined

American exceptionalism is the belief that our country is the best—because we say it is, loudly, with flags and fireworks.

Stephen Colbert

Ah, America… land of the free, home of the brave, and in 2025, the domain of the utterly perplexing. Face-palm level of perplexing, truth be told.

The second coming of Trump has certainly made for fascinating times, and we’re only in the 81st day of what looks to be a very long four years. And by ‘fascinating’, think of that morbid curiosity you have, forcing you to look when driving past a zero-survivability car wreck. Or train wreck, if you prefer.

As I write this, we’re enjoying a 90-day intermission in the latest tariff clown show episode, an across-the-board tariffpalooza announced on “Liberation Day”, a day many Americans saw themselves being liberated of their 401K savings when stock markets started tanking. And then the bond markets started to see yields rise as bonds were apparently being dumped as well. It’s speculated that it’s the latter that made Trump announce a 90-day pause on the announced tariffs – except for China, which is a side plot we’ll explore another day.

True to expectations, the stock markets rebounded, almost (but not quite) to where they were before the broad (and sometimes ridiculous) tariffs were unleashed on a bemused world. The bond market, too, has seen yields drop since then. Oh, wait… they’re up again.

And if you’re asking, “So wtf was the point of causing this worldwide distress?”, you are in good company. It’s almost mid-April, and it seems as though not a day has gone by since January 20th that news coming out of the US hasn’t induced a palm-to-the-face reaction. Or even laughter-induced nausea for those with tickle-prone esophaguses.

Be that as it retchingly may, Trump and his administration, through their schoolyard bully bravado, deadpan “I can’t believe it’s not butter bullshit”-styled press conferences delivered by White House Press Secretary Karoline Leavitt, aka Propaganda Barbie, and the many other seemingly inane actions and antics – too many to itemize – have given American Exceptionalism a whole new meaning in 2025.

America: Exceptionally Arrogant

America assumes it’s the best, and don’t you effing dare to even consider thinking otherwise. And that’s before Trump ascended to the throne.

This time around, it’s not just about believing it’s the best—it’s about declaring it louder, longer, and with way more ALL CAPS TWEETS FROM THE OFFICIAL PRESIDENTIAL ACCOUNT. For everyone else in the world? Tariffs. You get tariffs. Even if you’re a nation of penguins and seals.

Under Trump, it’s 100% more swagger, 0% self-awareness.

No, but seriously, in a record three months, Trump has managed to destroy whatever goodwill the US has built over the last eight decades since WW2. And destroyed it with gloating impunity, cheered on by imbeciles proudly wearing Made in China MAGA caps.

But hey, America is WINNING. Because despite whatever fake news reality has to offer, America thinks it’s the bestest of the best.

Which, as an aside, reminds me: remember this powerful monologue? It’s from Will McAvoy, a character from the HBO series The Newsroom (superbly played by Jeff Daniels), arguably the best monologue ever written for television:

But hey, don’t let reality get in the way…. USA! USA! USA!

America: Exceptionally Dense

In 2025, facts have become optional. Who needs facts when you’ve got vibes? And a legion of sycophantic podcasters to amp up those vibes?

Harsh Reality? Fake news by the lamestream media. Unless it’s from Fox News, the GOP’s answer to Pravda. Then it’s not so fake.

Science? More fake news!

Renewable energy? Who needs them woke windmills when you’ve got coal?

Now, mix all those ingredients up in a word salad bowl, and what you get is a daily dose of nonsensical diatribe that passes off as national policy. Never mind if the rest of the world howls at how incredibly stupid a lot of it sounds… MAGA like! MAGA approve!

And if that doesn’t illustrate how exceptionally dense the US has become with Trump’s second coming, America has taken concrete steps to ensure the nation gets smarter. How? By dismantling the Department of Education. Such brilliance! Such Multidimensional Chess! So much win!

America: Exceptionally Callous

America… the land of liberty and justice for all. Unless you’re you’re poor, sick, brown, queer, or just slightly inconvenient. Empathy, after all, is just a European invention for the terminally snowflake.

Wait, did someone mention “due process”? What radical leftist nonsense… the president can decree with impunity, and ICE will drag your ass to a maximum security terrorist prison in bumfuck El Salvador. No evidence necessary – no crime committed, no conviction, no problem! As long as you look like a gang banger, with a foreign gang banger sounding name (like Kilmar Abrego Garcia), that’s all the due process you get.

And if that ain’t star-spangled awesome enough, America… the only country in the world that gives you the liberty of choosing what flavor of medical bankruptcy you like. How awesome is that?

After all, nothing screams LIBERTY than dying or go bankrupt trying, right?

America: Exceptionally Great at Rebranding Failure

Trump goes on a tariff-spree; markets tank. Trump: Sometimes you have to take medicine to fix something. In other words, Sleepy Joe’s fault for leaving behind a horrible economy. But then again, when has Trump admitted accountability? For anything? Ever?

And except for China, the far-reaching tariff-ic exercise has been paused for 90 days. Not a “back-down”, naturally… all part of the masterful plan, a pre-defined time out to allow nations around the world to take a knee and “kiss his ass”. And what an ass to kiss, an ass whose beauty the world has never before seen! An ass greater than any ass the universe has ever witnessed! So fluffy and soft! (Cellulite sold separately)

In the Zero Sum Brain that inhabits the most enormous cavity under that most luscious toupee, this is yet another big WIN, on the glorious journey to Make America Great Again… one market crash at a time. Mutual benefit is for losers… plain and simple. Except, of course, when it’s for the mutual benefit of billionaire friends…

Trump’s America: Exceptionally Unpredictable… and Loving It!

Speaking of China, and the Tariff Ping-Pong match the US is currently engaged in, as of writing this, the score currently stands at 125-to-145 in favor of the US. In addition, China has indicated it will ignore further US tariff escalation because the situation has just gotten way too cray-cray.

That, plus China restricting selected rare earth exports and dissing LNG imports from the US, makes us wonder: what brilliant batshit move will Trump try next? There’s no telling what God’s gift to unpredictability has up his sleeve. Who knows… In the meantime, China – apparently the only adult in this Ping-Pong match – has been busy courting the EU to buddy up to face Trump’s star-spangled bullying.

I guess we’ll have to wait, since it’s almost the weekend in Trump’s world, and there are more important things to focus on, like golf at Mar-a-Lago. Courtesy of the American taxpayers, no less. So much Win!

But the biggest challenge to Trump’s winning reign might just come from the most unexpected of places. Like the place nobody expected would be slapped with tariffs.

Hell hath no fury like a penguin dictator scorned… (image from @kangaroos991’s X/Twitter post)

What other exceptional surprises can we expect in the coming days as Trump and company’s first one hundred days fast approach? Or the next hundred days? The Trump administration’s Tariffpalooza adds another notch to America’s exceptional wins to date in 2025. Like taking Russia’s side in the Ukrainian invasion and treating Israel’s genocidal frenzy against Palestinians as a golden opportunity to score some prime beach-front real estate.

So much WIN! So EXCEPTIONAL! So, what’s next, America?

Just to let you know…

I have too many responsibilities and principles. There’s no time for ‘guilty’ pleasures

A.R. Rahman

By now, you’re probably tired of me apologizing for not updating this blog more regularly. Well, be ready to get more tired: Sorry for not updating this blog as much.

Nonetheless, I thought I’d squeeze this posting in, if for no other reason, to let you know I’m still alive. Unlike most of my posts, this one will be a bit aimless.

What’s been going on since I last posted on January 9? The quick answer: a lot. Very, very a lot.

I should mention that since that last posting, I’ve not been in Malaysia a whole lot. And when I’m away – usually for work – the last thing I want to do is get my mood fouled by the political and social goings on in Malaysia. And so I stay off X/Twitter most of the time, and if I do get on the app (it’s how I get most of my news, by the way), I just read and don’t engage other than doing the occasional RT.

It would be a worthless exercise to try recapping everything that’s happened since then, so I won’t even bother. Maybe just a few highlights. Or lowlights, depending on how you view them.

Malaysia is chugging along okay for the most part. Apart, of course, from the tireless outrage farmers who never fail to find something to get pissed off about. The most recent being the 130-year old Hindu temple issue – which has apparently been settled amicably (more or less).

Elsewhere in the world, Israel’s genocidal war on Palestinians continues, a year and a half since the October 7, 2023 HAMAS raid, which has led to the near annihilation of Gaza. The Russian invasion of Ukraine continues. And the cherry on the “world is total shit” cake, Donald Trump is once more in the White House.

If you thought Trump 1.0 was bad, Trump 2.0 (now in its 76th day) has been a daily routine of me going “WTF?!?“. It’s been literally a case of another day, another facepalm. The latest, of course, is the broad “tariffs” on the rest of the world, based on some really dubious math.

For those of you who are interested, there’s actually a tabulation on Wikipedia of what the Trump administration has done within the first 100 days. The sweeping tariffs include the base 10% on an island whose only inhabitants are… penguins (and reportedly one seal).

‘Nowhere’s safe’: How an island of penguins ended up on Trump tariff list

The more serious implication of the announced tariffs, made on April 2, 2025, or what Trump has called “Liberation Day” – stock markets in the US and around the world reacted as you’d expect them to react. They tanked.

It appears as if the only thing that got liberated that day was a chunk of the average American’s disposable income. Why? Contrary to what Trump’s sycophants and the average MAGA dimwit think, tariffs are an IMPORT TAX, and not some looney tunes made-up tax the US imposes on other countries.

And who pays for import taxes? The importer. Which then essentially INCREASES the cost. Which, in all likelihood, gets passed on to the consumer. Feel liberated yet?

So, there you have it. Four months into 2025, and the year already feels like if there’s something that can go wrong, it most certainly will.

On my part, no promises that there will be more regular postings. But I will try. I do write the odd bit now and again in other places, like on X/Twitter or Medium. If for some odd, unfathomable reason you actually miss my writing, go find me in either one of those places I mentioned.

Cope as best as you can, won’t ya? The world is a wonky place these days…

A quickie Christmas post

The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live

George Carlin

So I thought I’d post a quickie to wish everyone a very Merry Christmas, and Happy Holidays…

Whether you like it or not, Christmas is for everyone and anyone who loves to enjoy life every now and again…
so you may as well enjoy it!

Christmas is different things to different people, but the most important thing about it is anyone can have a jolly ho ho ho good time. In my book anyways.

Sure, there’ll be some Malaysians of a certain demographic that will make a fuss about this time of year being offensive to their beliefs and what not. Well, it’s their right to live life as miserably as they want, just as long as they don’t insist everybody else join in their misery.

In any case, have a great time with family, friends and loved ones; enjoy responsibly, and remember: it’s better to spend a bit more on a ride-hail than it would be on the hospital bill, or posting bail… if you know what I mean.

Have a wonderful year-end, and if I’m up to it – or if Walski bugs me enough – there may be room for another post or three before 2024 says goodbye…

Thought Experiment #58

Sourced from https://www.pinterest.com/pin/115897390384173691/

Death smells like birthday cake.

Maggie Stiefvater

Just over a week ago – Friday, April 15, to be precise – something happened. For the first time in his life, Walski got to experience what being 58 years old was like. Strangely enough, it felt exactly like being 57.

There was no fanfare, no ticker tape parade… just another Friday in an increasingly decrepit Malaysia suffering the ravages of a pandemic without a known cure: performative piety. The more outwardly moral we pretend to be, and in the process force everyone to adhere, the worse off we seem to become.

As Walski once upon a time said, “In Malaysia, Islam is more than just a way of life, it’s an institution; and the last thing Walski wants is to live in an institution” (with apologies to Groucho Marx).

But, enough about this hellhole called Malaysia that’s becoming more of Hell as we get Hole-ier… the country’s getting uglier with every holier-than-thou asshole getting his 15 minutes (and it’s almost invariably a he).

So what’s this about a thought experiment?

In a wave of depression and feeling less than worthy, about two years ago, Walski thought up an experiment to prove once and for all just how forgettable a person he really is. The experiment he devised was simple:

  • Turn off the visibility to Walski’s birthday on Facebook (he forgot to do this for LinkedIn, so maybe next year)
  • Disallow anyone to post anything to his personal page on Facebook (Messaging remained allowed)
  • Sit back, and enjoy the depressive melancholy as more and more people Walski thought he knew be oblivious to to him celebrating another trip around Sol.

Did anyone remember? Well, only close family members (the Mrs, parent, an uncle, a cousin, his sibs, a niece, etc.), and two friends; one in Brazil and another in Pakistan. Okay, to be fair, a handful of people did wish him happy birthday on LinkedIn, but only because Walski forgot to turn it off there. Plus there was Walski’s WhatsApp group of old school friends, but only because they completely forgot last year until the following day.

And what did this thought experiment prove? Two things:

  1. We have become too reliant on technology to remind us of important dates. Not that Walski or his birthday are important to any degree… but you get the drift
  2. Walski’s existence doesn’t really matter. He could keel over dead tomorrow and most people wouldn’t even notice it. But in reality, that’s how much importance an ordinary Joe like yours truly really has in this world, big-picture speaking.

Truth be told, Walski does use calendar and scheduling apps to remind him to do stuff, too. And it would be safe to say he’d lose track if it weren’t for these apps, both online or on-phone. A long time and in another lifetime we’d have used a diary, but that era is long behind us.

More importantly, Walski is now convinced how inconsequential he is in the bigger, medium sized, and small scale of things. Maybe come Thought Experiment #59 he’ll disappear altogether. The world will probably not even notice… and who knows, the world might even be better for it.

Have a good life, and see you in the next post… whenever that might be.

No Fly Zone

You know it’s kinda hard just to get along today

Our subject isn’t cool but he fakes it anyway

He may not have a clue and he may not have style

But everything he lacks well he makes up in denial

The Offspring, Pretty Fly (for a White Guy)

Not everyone can speak off the cuff well. Particularly in public. And some politicians, well… they probably shouldn’t speak off-the-cuff in public at all, anywhere.

https://youtu.be/m9vJbJOLGU0
Adham Baba’s latest verbal blunder (FYI: Spanish Flu is not the past tense of Spanish Fly…)

Dr. Adham Baba is Malaysia’s Health Minister. And he has a spectacularly shameful track record of saying the wrong things in public. He’s one of those politicians who shot into prominence courtesy of Perikatan Nasional’s Sheraton Backdoor Coup in February 2020.

Last year the minister became the butt of netizen’s jokes when he suggested, on national TV no less, that drinking warm water could avert someone from getting COVID-19 (complete with a demonstration of how to drink warm water). Not long after, his gaffe about being in a virtual conference with 500 other countries (when he meant 500 delegates from around the world).

He became such an embarrassment that subsequently Malaysia’s COVID-19 daily situation report has since been delivered by the Ministry of Health’s Director General (save a few occasions). And you’d think the vaccination program coordination would be led by the Minister of Health, right? Well, that task (and some might add thankfully) has been taken over by the Minister of Science, Technology and Innovation, on the pretext that this was more under the purview of that ministry.

Let’s think about it – vaccine vials and syringes aren’t exactly rocket science. And Walski suspects that the real reason is because the Health Minister has presented himself to be slightly less than inept. Yes, he’s become that big of an embarrassment. At least in Walski’s eyes.

And so it brings us to Adham Baba’s latest embarrassing mis-delivery: saying Spanish Fly when what he wanted to say was Spanish Flu. And screwed up the year as well (it was 1918).

Trust Malaysia’s premier punk-activist artist Fahmi Reza to generate a quick response!

Walski did consider the possibility that knowing what “Spanish Fly” is could be general knowledge the average Malaysian didn’t have. But Walski doesn’t think that’s the case at all; the number of people who almost immediately recognized the gaffe made was significant. And if they didn’t already know what Spanish Fly refers to, thanks to Adham Baba, Malaysia’s Health Minister, they do now.

Regardless, it’s now become abundantly clear where Adham Baba’s No Fly Zone is: public speaking of any kind!